That Thing on My Chest

My newest crew member, Angela, was staring at my tattoo yesterday which is cool. You don't get a giant red skull and crossbones tattoo right above your breasts if you don't want people looking at it. The thing is, she kept staring at it but never really talked about it. If there is one thing a person with an obnoxiously large tattoo hates, is when we don't get a chance to talk about the obnoxiously large tattoo.

"Yes, it hurt a lot," I said the next time I caught Angela checking out my chest.

She blinked. "Sorry, didn't mean to stare. It's just so . . .big."

"That's the point," I said. "I wanted something so large, that every day when I woke up and looked in the mirror, I would see my pirate lifestyle staring me back. Also, it freaks out guys in bed when I take off my shirt."

"The first time I saw it, I thought it was like, paint or something. Like KISS."

I snorted. "No, I take my body modification seriously. When I wanted an optical piece to enhance my targeting with my weapons, did I build goggles? No, I built a freaking cybernetic eye and replaced my perfectly good eye with it. Even for this tattoo, I used a special regenerating ink designed to stay crimson red my entire life instead of fading like normal tattoos do. I'm going to be a hundred and eight and still sporting this tattoo in all it's vibrant colors."

Angela got excited. "I need a tattoo! Something piratey and quartermistressy! I should get like, a skull and crossbones on my cheek! Or maybe a whip on my arm with a roll of quarters!"

I looked at her. "You're not even drunk and those are the worse ideas I have ever heard. You are forbidden from getting a tattoo until you submit an idea in writing that doesn't completely suck."

That took the wind out of her but she got over it. BosunBot downloaded the Call of Cthulhu game and we spent the rest of the day playing it. It's creepy and I give it Four Cannons out of five.