Gateway Crime

I took Angela on her first heist last Friday morning. Nothing big, just a little starter crime. We got up at 4 in the freaking morning and cruised I-75 in the 'Lustful Raider'. Like pirates of old, we prowled the interstate looking for prey. Let me tell you something about robots, they don't care what time of day it is, they are ready to hunt.

We spotted a suitable victim. It was a Computer City truck, eighteen wheels of computer, stereo and television goodness. HelmsBot drove up along side it all casual like and then I rolled down the passenger window and casually shot out six of those big eighteen wheels. There was a little bit of drama as the huge truck swerved and nearly crushed a BMW, but the drivers of the Computer City truck got to the side of the road well enough.

We pulled over with them and the sight of my Bots with their lasers and chainsaws really settled any questions of what we were doing. The drivers didn't say a word as they got out, dropped to their knees and kept their hands on their heads. It was enough to make me wonder if super-villains rob these trucks on a regular basis. I kept an eye on them, while Angela and the Bots looted the ship. I especially kept an eye on the handsome black guy and toyed with the idea of taking a hostage for the weekend, but then I remembered that this is why pirates created strippers, so we don't get into those really messy federal crimes.

Angela, I'm sorry, QuarterMistress, had a fun time. The Bots looted at her direction and once we had three plasma televisions, she had the Bots toss the rest on the side of the row. She stole us some prime speakers and other car stereo products which go for quite a nice price on the stolen market. She also grabbed us a box of DVD's which is what we spent Sunday watching. The nice thing about selling stolen DVD's is no one cares if they are pre-watched first.

There isn't much else to report. QuarterMistress really enjoyed her first crime and she really enjoyed the five percent cut I gave her from what we sold to Mad Dave. Even though we sold and skimmed off enough electronic gear to stuff a whale, she still hit the mall afterward and bout an I-pod. As for me, I spent my hard earned cash on this new guy at the Beef Buffet. I think his name was Kyle, can't really remember. Angela wanted to come along but I have to draw the line at sneaking under age kids into strip clubs. She wasn't too disappointed though. Once she found out that BosunBot was skilled in every form of music piracy possible, she spent Saturday loading up on songs.

Just another typical lazy pirate weekend.