Raid Interrupted

The problem with stealing a snack truck is even after you empty it, even after you air it out for two hours and even after ten air fresheners, the inside of the truck still smells like crappy potato chips.

The truck jacking went off without a hitch. I had to drive it because guards weren’t about to let a robot drive a vehicle onto the Perpetual Laboratories grounds. That mean I had to wear sunglasses to hide my robotic eye but hey, the guard was still flirting with me. Oh yeah, I have it. Men can just recognize the power of a confidant woman.

The guard gave me directions and I took the truck to the loading bay. The guard also gave me directions to the snack room, but I think I’ll save that info for on the way out. I might need an awful lukewarm coffee after snatching the force field.

There were only two guys in the loading dock when I pulled in. The Bots sprang out of the back of the van like they couldn’t wait to kill every thing. Which they can’t. I just wish there were more than two guys there to witness that awesome deployment. The Bots’ targeting functions zoomed in on them and shot them about a hundred times with the stun bolts, a hundred from each Bot. Those guys will be lucky to remember where they work much less this night.

Once we got past the loading area, it became a much richer target environment. The Bots shot scientists, janitors and a garbage can that fell over. It did my pirate heart proud to see my crew ripping into such a helpless area. People went down and they went down fast. I didn’t even need to fire my rifle. I did stop to take a stunned man’s rolex but I didn’t have to shoot him first. My Bots were tight.

The lovely thing about laboratories and science companies in general, is that they were designed with geeks in mind. I mean, they spell everything out because they know the geniuses that work there haven’t mastered basic people skills like asking for directions. So if I get lost, I just look for a map on a wall. There’s arrows painted everywhere. You’d have to be a dumb ass super hero to not know your way around.

The lab itself put up more of a fight. The Bots had to shoot some actual armed guards but it was just an extra ten seconds of fighting. The security doors took longer to blast through. Come on high tech research companies, invest in some real security. You almost had me thinking they didn’t have anything worth guarding.

More worrisome was the message I got from HelmsBot back at the truck.

“Captain! Emergency! Emergency! Under attack by known BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”

What the? Under attack? Police must have shown up but hey, the Bots weren’t made to fight alone. We’ll swing by after we get the force field generator and mop up.

“You stay away, or I’ll blow us all up!”

That was what a brave scientist proudly yelled at us when we entered the inner lab. He had the force field generator in one hand, and a bunch of strapped together cylinders in the other. The ‘bomb’ was leaking steam, which was bothersome but not really bomblike.

“A bomb?” I said. “You made a bomb in the time it took for us to get here? Why don’t I believe you? Put down the force field generator and step away so we can stun you. I promise, I think it doesn’t hurt.”

“Stay back! I’m serious!” he shouted. “I got more degrees than you got peg legs! I can blow us all to the moon if you get any closer!”

I thought about it, and then 1stMateBot shot the guy. The Bot’s targeting programs don’t handle threats of mutual destruction well. The scientist got blasted and the ‘bomb’ fell out of his hands. There was no way that he could have actually made a bomb. I still dived for cover behind BosunBot anyway. No need to take chances.

It didn’t explode.

I got back up and walked over to the brave stupid scientist. He still had the force field generator in his hand. That was when something occurred to me. Why didn’t he use the force field? This did not bode well.

The trip back was shorter cause well, less people to shoot. We moved fast with the generator safely in my belt pocket. I didn’t hear sirens but maybe that just meant the police were getting smarter and not letting me know they were coming.

Gods I wish I was that lucky.

We walked into the loading bay and I saw the Hungry Monkey Snacks truck encased in ice. I sighed. Frost Sting? Already? How the hell did she get here so fast? Does she freaking work here in her secret identity?

CabinBot got frozen solid and I mean solid. We’re talking two feet of ice solid. I didn’t know where she was hitting us from, so I ordered the crew to take cover. Within seconds of my order, ice formed over the entire floor from where we were standing to every exit. Bots went sliding all over the freaking place and I feel flat on my bottom. I, Scarlett Drake, fell flat on my ass. It was on now.

“Come out and fight like a hero!” I yelled. I also gave a sub vocal command to my Bots.

Frost Sting’s response was to encase CabinBot in ice. This time however, the slide slid off of him as quickly as it formed. It lifted my spirits right back up.

“Give that tactic up,” I yelled. “Right now every Bot is over clocking their power supplies. They might burn out, but you’ll long be under the ground. Come out now an- Holy crap!”

Frost Sting leaped out from behind another truck with that freaking ice sword again. The ice sword sheared off CookBot’s chainsaw hand and I was instantly regretting turning off their chainsaw combat programs. Cripes. 1stMateBot had a clear shot at her but slipped on a icy patch and shot the crap out of an overhead light. CabinBot almost shot her but a wall of ice blocked his barrage of lasers. Anne Bonny’s curves! I forgot how fast she was!

Speaking of curves, how does she look so good in blue spandex? It’s so unfair! I mean, it’s a head to toe spandex costume with her short perfectly cut blonde hair poking up. Okay, her mouth was open but no one’s looking at her lips. They are looking at her chest, her hips and her legs. Even the white frost on her gloves and boots just make her look sexy. I bet she never has a stylist mess up her hair.

With ice on the floor I didn’t bother to stand. I got up on my knees and fired my laser rifle at her in full auto. The shots never made it to her. She put up another ice wall and soaked all my blasts. CookBot was still on his feet and swung at her with his one remaining arm. He missed her and took an icy blast to the face. The overclocked engine kept him running though but he was blind as a bat.

“I was ready for you this time, Drake,” Frost Sting yelled. Before I could give a snappy comeback, snow swept in around me. She had dropped a freaking blizzard on us and my lips were starting to chap. Luckily I had gloves or else I might have lost a few fingers.

“You’re one trick, and I’ve already seen it,” I spat out. Which was true, but I hadn’t really worked out any strategies for dealing with her. I beat her so easily last time that I didn’t give her much thought. Maybe General Surgeon was right, maybe I am making my enemies too tough. Screw it, I’m smart enough to come up with something on the fly.

Frost Sting took to the air and threw a large chunk of ice at 1stMateBot. He went down under the avalanche but I had faith he wasn’t out. The hero then made a cage of ice around CookBot and CabinBot that their lasers barely chipped away at. I gave them a command to use their chainsaws and they got right to work but it was going take them awhile. Frost Sting did exactly what she wanted; she isolated them from me.

“You ready to fight one on one?” I said. I was still on my knees, trying to see through the blizzard. Her pale blue costume blended right with the snow.

“You bet,” she said and I jumped. She was right on top of me! I barely had time to dodge that ice sword before she skewered me. It was a clumsy dodge, straight back onto the ice. She brought the sword down and I had to use my rifle to block it. The sword chopped deep into my rifle and I knew she had snapped the barrel.

“It’s over, Drake,” she said. Floating above, with a blizzard in full storm around us, she certainly had the advantage. I almost believed her.

I swung at her and in mid swing, I turned on my weapon of last resort, my Laser Cutlass. The energy rippled out and pierced deep into her costume. Frost Sting screamed and the blizzard shut off instantly. The ice melted under me and I scrambled to my feet. She flew back a few feet and nailed me with a savage barrage of chunks of ice that gave me a black eye. I hit the ground but kept my Laser Cutlass in front of me.

The chunks of ice kept hitting me. Harder and harder they flew and I just kept my sword up and tried to block some. I debated using the force field generator but I didn’t know how to even turn it on. Screw it, if she wanted it, she was going to have to pry it off my dead body.

The barrage stopped and I looked up. My Bots were free! They were shooting at Frost Sting with all they had. She tried making another ice wall but it wasn’t as strong as it usually was. The shots tore right through and nailed her a few times but she still wouldn’t go down.

Finally one shot nailed the side that I had cut and she screamed in terrible pain. I was about to ask for her surrender when she cursed, and flew away much faster than I would have thought possible. She blasted right through one of the loading doors and escaped. I was pissed she had got away but also relieved that I won out.

That relief turned sour fast. Although her blizzard and icy floor had melted when Frost Sting got hurt, most of her other ice formations were still here. BosunBot was still frozen solid and a total lost. Not only did she encase my snack truck, but she also froze solid all the other trucks to hamper my getaway. HelmsBot was a slid block of ice somewhere under all that as well.

That left me with 1stMateBot, CabinBot and a one armed CookBot. We were in the industrial sector of Comfort Bay, which meant we were a long way from home with no transportation. It was times like these I wish I could fly or something.

All I could do was order the crew to follow me as we ran outside. Fortunately, factories and labs like to surround themselves with tress to give the impression that they are not killing the environment. That gave us the cover we needed as we made our escape. Police sirens were all around us within the hour as we hoped from one factory’s faux forest to another. I debated stealing a truck or an SUV but I knew I would need something with massive space to house my three Bots. I’ve lost two already, I can’t afford to lose any more.

So this is why I am blogging this transmission from the middle of a freaking forest. It’s dark now, but I keep seeing police cars go by. I’m cold from all the ice attacks and the lovely February weather. I’m hungry and haven’t eaten yet, which is really maddening because I still smell like Hungry Monkey Snacks. I would kill for over priced bag of potato chip crumbs right about now.

The Bots are on stand by mode and I’m going to try to get some sleep now. This force field generator better be freaking worth it.