Back at the Wheel Again
I tell you, nearly being killed by an engineered infection really encourages one to be lazy. I was feeling better around New Year's Eve but I wasn't exactly motivated to get off my booty and do anything. I sat around the hideout and watched some movies that HelmsBot pirated off the Internet. Sin City rocks. It really put me in a vengence kind of mood without requiring me to actually get up and commit some vengence.
After a few days of recovering my strength, I took a look outside and was blinded by the sunlight. It's as cold as a wet penguin outside, but the sun was out and practically taunting me to go out and be evil. The only problem was, what should I do? I could have gone out and tried to find General Surgeon, but that kind of work is low in villiany. I also didn't want to do anything too big as I refuse to do any sort of grand scheme without adequate planning. The crime needed to be simple yet fun. I wanted to prove to the world I was still alive. More importantly, I wanted to prove it myself.
That's why me and my loyal crew of Bots loaded into the 'Lustful Raider' and headed out armed with nothing but a bunch of maps printed off of Mapquest. When we got near our destination, 1stMateBot climbed outside the still moving van and scampered onto the top. He secured himself while we drove by Sprouse Memorial Hospital. when we got in range, 1stMateBot let loose with a terrific barrage of laser shots at the hospital. Windows were smashed, people screamed and sick people dived for cover. I leaned out the window with my laser rifle and picked off a paramedic with a stun beam. We shot the hospital up and HelmsBot drove off, skillfully navigating our way out of there and loosing the cops.
I know, doing a drive by shooting of a hospital is crude, pointless and just plain mean. But I have to tell you, it was FUN! Hospitals don't normally get shot at, so most of the people have no idea what to do. Besides, it's just stun beams, so it's not like we killed anyone. Well, not directly. Hopefully that paramedic I stunned isn't needed anywhere important.
We hit Hughes General Hospital, Eisner University Hospital and Comfort Bay Baptist Hospital in our little tour of terror. HelmsBot ran an ambulance off the road while 1stMateBot, without my prompting, launched a grenade at the modern art sculpture outside Eisner. Shrapnel went flying everywhere though the only casualty appeared to be the shrubs surrounding the sculpture.
The police were a bit upset with us. After we hit Baptist, we had two police copters trying to tail us. BosunBot was ready for them. He opened the back doors of the fan and aimed what appeared to them to be one Huge Nasty Gun. The copters veered off like I expected. BosunBot fired the Smoke Cannon and BLAM, instant downtown Smog. To get that authentic pirate smell, I laced the fog with a gunpowder like additive that stinks like gunpowder but is non-flamable. Within minutes we had the downtown area choking and the police copters baffled.
We got home in time to catch the news coverage. The crackerjack reporters identified me as the main suspect though everyone was confused as to why I would do such a thing. Shooting hospitals without stopping to loot anything was keeping the super-villain pundits babbling for hours. Of course there were plenty of terrified eyewitness accounts who told heartbreaking stories of how they were at the hospital to visit loved ones and ended up catching a stun bolt through the chest. The mayor came on and branded me a Terrorist, which is a new one for me. That's going into the clip files.
I sat there in my recliner as CookBot poured me a rum and coke. Somewhere out there, general Surgeon is watching the news too. He saw me hit a bunch of hospitals with little rhyme or reason but plenty of carnage. He knew I was alive, and he saw that I am more than willing to attack more people than I need to send him a message. He either thinks I'm an idiot, or he's afraid that I invest in overkill. Either works to my favor.
Plus, shooting hospitals was more fun than I imagined. I feel like my old self again.
After a few days of recovering my strength, I took a look outside and was blinded by the sunlight. It's as cold as a wet penguin outside, but the sun was out and practically taunting me to go out and be evil. The only problem was, what should I do? I could have gone out and tried to find General Surgeon, but that kind of work is low in villiany. I also didn't want to do anything too big as I refuse to do any sort of grand scheme without adequate planning. The crime needed to be simple yet fun. I wanted to prove to the world I was still alive. More importantly, I wanted to prove it myself.
That's why me and my loyal crew of Bots loaded into the 'Lustful Raider' and headed out armed with nothing but a bunch of maps printed off of Mapquest. When we got near our destination, 1stMateBot climbed outside the still moving van and scampered onto the top. He secured himself while we drove by Sprouse Memorial Hospital. when we got in range, 1stMateBot let loose with a terrific barrage of laser shots at the hospital. Windows were smashed, people screamed and sick people dived for cover. I leaned out the window with my laser rifle and picked off a paramedic with a stun beam. We shot the hospital up and HelmsBot drove off, skillfully navigating our way out of there and loosing the cops.
I know, doing a drive by shooting of a hospital is crude, pointless and just plain mean. But I have to tell you, it was FUN! Hospitals don't normally get shot at, so most of the people have no idea what to do. Besides, it's just stun beams, so it's not like we killed anyone. Well, not directly. Hopefully that paramedic I stunned isn't needed anywhere important.
We hit Hughes General Hospital, Eisner University Hospital and Comfort Bay Baptist Hospital in our little tour of terror. HelmsBot ran an ambulance off the road while 1stMateBot, without my prompting, launched a grenade at the modern art sculpture outside Eisner. Shrapnel went flying everywhere though the only casualty appeared to be the shrubs surrounding the sculpture.
The police were a bit upset with us. After we hit Baptist, we had two police copters trying to tail us. BosunBot was ready for them. He opened the back doors of the fan and aimed what appeared to them to be one Huge Nasty Gun. The copters veered off like I expected. BosunBot fired the Smoke Cannon and BLAM, instant downtown Smog. To get that authentic pirate smell, I laced the fog with a gunpowder like additive that stinks like gunpowder but is non-flamable. Within minutes we had the downtown area choking and the police copters baffled.
We got home in time to catch the news coverage. The crackerjack reporters identified me as the main suspect though everyone was confused as to why I would do such a thing. Shooting hospitals without stopping to loot anything was keeping the super-villain pundits babbling for hours. Of course there were plenty of terrified eyewitness accounts who told heartbreaking stories of how they were at the hospital to visit loved ones and ended up catching a stun bolt through the chest. The mayor came on and branded me a Terrorist, which is a new one for me. That's going into the clip files.
I sat there in my recliner as CookBot poured me a rum and coke. Somewhere out there, general Surgeon is watching the news too. He saw me hit a bunch of hospitals with little rhyme or reason but plenty of carnage. He knew I was alive, and he saw that I am more than willing to attack more people than I need to send him a message. He either thinks I'm an idiot, or he's afraid that I invest in overkill. Either works to my favor.
Plus, shooting hospitals was more fun than I imagined. I feel like my old self again.
posted by Shon Richards @ 1/04/2006 09:34:00 AM
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