Duel with Frost Sting

Frost Sting and I faced each other for about five seconds before we launched into our witty banter. I was in a hurry because I had programmed a Monologue Pause into the Bots if we ever met a Hero and I knew the clock was ticking. I have to say though, she had a rather cool looking costume. Blue spandex covered her slender body and it was clear that whatever caused her powers also gave her abs that I would kill for. White frost covered her hands and boots but for her it worked. Her face was covered by her costume except for her mouth and her very short blonde hair. A black scorpion was painted onto her chest, just in case you didn't realize the name Frost Sting was referring to stinging cold and not some sort of weird cake icing hero.

"Ahoy Frost Sting! Step aside or I'll be making a flag from your costume."

The blonde smirked. She smirked! "You're a bit far inland for a pirate aren't you? Or are you working out a serious Johnny Depp infatuation?"

I cocked my Blasket. (yes, it's a laser pistol and it doesn't exactly need to be cocked but I included a cocking-like sound and action for when I adjust the setting from Stun to Lethal just for occasions like this) The smirk faded when I pointed my Blasket at her with one hand and gave her the middle finger with other.

"Attack me hearties," I said. This time it was my turn to smirk.

The Bots snapped into a quickdraw action and filled the air with laser blasts. Frost Sting jumped back and erected an ice wall to block the blasts. That was fine with me. I pulled a heat grenade from my utility bandolier and tossed it at the wall. The grenade ignited in midair and burned right through her ice wall like a cannon shot through a paper mache boat.

This is the part I couldn't beleive. If I was her, I would have flown right back through that window and given up on stopping this crime but no, this crazy wench flew through the hole my heat grenade just made! She zipped through like a John Woo, firing cold blasts from her hands with annoying accuracy. She froze HelmsBot to the floor, iced over BosunBot's sensor array, missed 1stMateBot completely, froze CookBot's arm solid and sent a distrubingly large chunk of ice my way that I barely dodged. This was a wench with steel nipples if you get my meaning.

1stMateBot moved into position and made a grab for her leg. Those extra hours I spent overclocking his arm motors paid off as his metal fingers locked around her ankle. Frost Sting's flight came to a halt and the hero twisted around to blast 1stMateBot with a two handed frost blast. I could hear his engine whining as he heated up to compensate for the intense cold. I took sight with my Blasket and squeezed off a shot at her back. The laser sliced clean through her shoulder. She screamed out but I was annoyed with myself. I was hoping for a spine hit.

Frost Sting created a freaking huge ice sword and swung it down on 1stMateBot's hand. The metal shattered and the blonde hero kicked free. My Bot's hand was still around her ankle but it didn't seem to slow her flight down.

"Shooting people in the back?" she sneered.

I shrugged. "My Bots are about to do the same. We're pirates you know."

She spun around just in time to catch a barrage of laser bolts from my crew. Frost Sting tried to create a another sheild of ice but the lasers were too fast. I watched as her body danced in the air as the shots went through her and bounced off her body. Hrrmmm, she must have some sort of armor in the costume's front that she didn't have in the back. Maybe I should have held off on my snappy line. Either way, it was satisfying to see her bounce around so clumsily in the air after pulling that Matrix move earlier. She looked like a rowboat being tossed about by a hurricane until she finally crashed into an expensive coffee table. I swear, it's always the way. I think coffee tables were made to be fallen on.

I admit, I strutted a little when I walked up to her. I threw a little swing in my hips so my cape would swish side to side. The security cameras were following my every move and I knew this would make CNN if I did this just right. I looked down at Frost Sting and she was groaning, but she was unconcious. The shots that her costume didn't reflect had punched through her and cauterized the wounds. Although there was no blood, she was still a sorry sight. I stalled for a few seconds, sneering down at my opponent while I thought of something cool to do.

I placed one boot on her heaving chest and ground my heel a little. My hand went to my knee in my best Captain Morgan impersonation as I surveyed the melting ice and destroyed office.

"This fish is too small. We'll spare her this time in the hope that she becomes a worthier opponent. Bots! Finish stripping this place of treasure and let's head out. Scarlett Drake is finished here!"

Gods, I have seen that clip a thousand times on all the news channels and I never get tired of seeing it. My Bots cleaned out the office and Pug was more than happy to give us his wallet, rings and other assorted bling after what we did to Frost Sting. Of course they don't show that part of the footage, they just played the part where I put my heel on Frost Sting and gave my little insult. That's fine by me.

The police arrived but a few land torpedoes from the getaway van blasted their cars ten feet into the air. They didn't really give chase after that. We made it to the lair without a hitch and just in time to watch superhero anaylsts on the news discuss my entire career up to this point. I tried on diamond rings while cookBot made me a celebratory rum and coke.

That is how Saturdays are meant to be spent.