The Long Hard Holiday Weekend
Blast my lips, stomach and eyes because they all hurt! Blackbeard's cutlass! Is it really 6pm? All right, I really need to cut back on the rum.
As you can tell, my weekend was one long act of debauchery. Friday I cased out my next crime. I took notes and made my plans although I have no memory of actually doing it. Luckily 1stMateBot has an automatic record feature whenever I'm making evil schemes.
It must have been on Friday that I got a little touch of the melancholy over the fact that I was spending a holiday alone. Now, I could have gone and committed some great crime but it is a hard truth that only the crazy villains commit crimes on holidays. Heroes take it very personal when you have interrupted their plans and they tend to throw in a few more kicks in tender places. Don't believe me? That's all right. Go rob a bank during Christmas and find out for yourself. Even sugary do gooders like Ms. Sunshine will slam your head into the vault door a few times before turning you over to the police.
So what could I do other than hit the stripclubs and see if I could russle up some action? I had all my money from the last heist, no since saving it. There aren't many male strip clubs open on the day after Thanksgiving but I found a real dive called 'The Stable'. I have to admit I don't recall much of that night but I must have liked what I saw because I brought back three handsome lads called Pedro, Steel and ummmm, some blonde guy.
Now I don't want you to think I'm a pirate villain of low morals. In my defense, I can say it was the holidays, the rum and the fact that I did have a crapload of money that was burning a hole in my treasure chest. I've never spent an entire weekend drunk out of my skull and covered in muscular men and hey, you only sail this world once you know?
Unfortunately, I appear to be one heck of a tipper. All my cash was gone when I woke up this afternoon and at first, I thought the guys had robbed me. Reviewing the AVI's that HelmsBot made of my celebration, I discovered that I spent more time stuffing Pedro's, Steel's and Blonde Guy's g-strings with money than I did actually inside said g-strings.
This is the part of the blog where I try to figure out why I spend my hard earned loot on strippers and drinking and realize it has something to do with my father not loving me. Well, deep six those ideas now. I'm actually got proud of myself! When I went solo, I wasn't sure I could do the whole hard drinking, carousing till all hours and wind up broke again lifestyle so popular with the pirates. Shoot, if anything, I'm too good at it. I'm going to e-mail this blog entry to Mom and Dad tonight so they can be proud of me.
As you can tell, my weekend was one long act of debauchery. Friday I cased out my next crime. I took notes and made my plans although I have no memory of actually doing it. Luckily 1stMateBot has an automatic record feature whenever I'm making evil schemes.
It must have been on Friday that I got a little touch of the melancholy over the fact that I was spending a holiday alone. Now, I could have gone and committed some great crime but it is a hard truth that only the crazy villains commit crimes on holidays. Heroes take it very personal when you have interrupted their plans and they tend to throw in a few more kicks in tender places. Don't believe me? That's all right. Go rob a bank during Christmas and find out for yourself. Even sugary do gooders like Ms. Sunshine will slam your head into the vault door a few times before turning you over to the police.
So what could I do other than hit the stripclubs and see if I could russle up some action? I had all my money from the last heist, no since saving it. There aren't many male strip clubs open on the day after Thanksgiving but I found a real dive called 'The Stable'. I have to admit I don't recall much of that night but I must have liked what I saw because I brought back three handsome lads called Pedro, Steel and ummmm, some blonde guy.
Now I don't want you to think I'm a pirate villain of low morals. In my defense, I can say it was the holidays, the rum and the fact that I did have a crapload of money that was burning a hole in my treasure chest. I've never spent an entire weekend drunk out of my skull and covered in muscular men and hey, you only sail this world once you know?
Unfortunately, I appear to be one heck of a tipper. All my cash was gone when I woke up this afternoon and at first, I thought the guys had robbed me. Reviewing the AVI's that HelmsBot made of my celebration, I discovered that I spent more time stuffing Pedro's, Steel's and Blonde Guy's g-strings with money than I did actually inside said g-strings.
This is the part of the blog where I try to figure out why I spend my hard earned loot on strippers and drinking and realize it has something to do with my father not loving me. Well, deep six those ideas now. I'm actually got proud of myself! When I went solo, I wasn't sure I could do the whole hard drinking, carousing till all hours and wind up broke again lifestyle so popular with the pirates. Shoot, if anything, I'm too good at it. I'm going to e-mail this blog entry to Mom and Dad tonight so they can be proud of me.
posted by Shon Richards @ 11/28/2005 03:25:00 PM
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