Four Rusty Bots

I really should be working on my wishlist so that piratephile men with too much money can buy me booty, but I wanted to spare a word or two about my loyal Bots.

When I decided to become a Pirate Super-Villian, I knew a regular crew wasn't going to cut the lime. Humans are fragile, complain a lot and demand a share of the booty. That wounds me to the quick it does. I put in all the work masterminding the heists, why should some mook get any money just because they stopped a bullet or two?

This is why I went to school and got my Engineering Robotics Degree at Evilania University. I know, people badmouth Evilania because of their Geneva conventions violations and their dictator, Empereor Devastation's track record with experimenting on his populace, but they have a really good robotics program. I graduated second in my class with only that witch Sheila Feinrich having higher grades. You might know her better as the Inventatrix. I'm not saying Sheila slept with her professors, but if my graduation day deathtrap would have succeeded, they would have had to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin.

Anyway, I took my education and created my own crew of loyal steel robot minions. 1stMateBot alone has taken nearly thirty fatal blasts for me from over eager heroes. BosunBot has pirated more music than a Metallica fan with a Britney Spears obsession. HelmsBot not only drives the getaway van with precision, but he's also detailed the sides in a fetching Jolly Roger that's the envy of all the other gangs. CookBot has mastered all the classics like sea biscuits, spiced rum and fried marlin. Not even Inventatrix could make a finer crew then my Bots.

And would she have the style to give every Bot an eypatch over a defunct sensor? I think not.