My Tan Is Better Than Yours

I should be out committing crimes. I had a lot of publicity from that whole Animal Master smackdown and I should be riding that fame into a crime wave that Comfort Bay will never forget. Now is the moment, I should seize it.

But, wow, has it been great weather lately. My tan is looking awesome and the pool we set up on the roof of the lair is aso relaxing to soak in. I feel like, well, like a pirate queen on a vacation. And when I get lonely I just hit the strip clubs and pick up a few boys to bring home. It's hard to go do a crime where people might shoot back at you when you can be lying out here, reading Spanish mysteries.

Sigh. Vacation inertia is so hard to overcome.

I also have my birthday coming hope. April 23rd, I turn a glorious 33. I feel like I should do something for the occasion, but I have no idea. I want to do something grand but at the same time I want to have a laid back birthday with no danger of going to jail. My young crew member Angela has a notebook that she hides when I come around. I'm thinking she's planning a birthday party and I have to say I am curious what she cooks up. Granted, at her age she might think a trip to Dave and Buster's will suffice. I hope the girl knows by now that any birthday of mine will involve serious male booty to be had.

Oh look, the sun is out again. It's time to roll over and keep sipping my margarita.