Viking Funeral, Super Villain Style
There isn’t much open space in Comfort Bay. Office buildings, warehouses and apartment complexes multiply on top of one another like pirates around a grog keg. We had to go outside of town, past the suburbs and onto the highways where open land lies in wait for some ambitious developer to decide that this place needs yet another strip mall. Thankfully, the trees are pretty thick here and we had some cover for our farewell to Professor Malice. There is nothing like a quiet bit of woods in the middle of nowhere to set the theme for a super villain funeral.
Jaser had out done himself. He gathered everything we needed and he did it faster than I ever could. We had a crate of Professor Malice’s notes, a barrel of the worse toxins Malice had ever designed, the Professor’s gravity gun that crushed targets into something the size of a beer can, a rack of genetic life forms designed for striping mountains of all usable minerals and other fun things Professor Malice had created over the years. It was the cream of the crop from all the secret labs Professor Malice had over the world.
That was just the first half. The second, some would argue more important part was the new stuff we gathered today. Jaser and I hit certain places all over Comfort Bay for these bits. I robbed a steel yard for well, steel. Jaser blasted a couple of factories that had the electronics I needed. My Bots also raided a Church’s chicken, but that was more for us, not the funeral.
Jaser was no genius so it was up to me to do the technical work. It was pretty fun I have to admit. I hadn’t made a rocket in years. Jaser used his powers to do the welding. A few hours later, we had a working rocket jam packed with the best of Professor Malice’s discoveries. My own knowledge of Bots contributed the three artificial intelligences that would maintain and repair the rocket for well, forever since they were powered by Malice’s own Solar Cells.
“This is the best crazy idea you’ve ever had,” Jaser said. “Professor Malice would love it!”
“I bet he would,” I said. “Picture it, a cosmic death ark flying through space. I didn’t give it any defenses other than self-repair. Any alien that wants to take a peek and try to figure out Professor Malice’s weapons of planetary destruction are welcome to it. I just hope they find a use for it before it kills them.”
“I think the Professor would like nothing more than to have his discoveries flying around, terrorizing the universe,” Jaser said.
It was a sweet touching moment. Which should have been a dead give up because that’s when a small missile detonated right beside me. Dirt went flying and my Bots shifted into combat mode.
“I don’t know where that rocket’s going, but it’s never lifting off!
I looked up to see a freaking flying hero. Not just any hero, it was the armored hero, Upgrade. Great. I had been hoping to fight the cute hero in some sort of romantic setting but instead I was facing him with an ex-boyfriend. Just great.
Jaser had out done himself. He gathered everything we needed and he did it faster than I ever could. We had a crate of Professor Malice’s notes, a barrel of the worse toxins Malice had ever designed, the Professor’s gravity gun that crushed targets into something the size of a beer can, a rack of genetic life forms designed for striping mountains of all usable minerals and other fun things Professor Malice had created over the years. It was the cream of the crop from all the secret labs Professor Malice had over the world.
That was just the first half. The second, some would argue more important part was the new stuff we gathered today. Jaser and I hit certain places all over Comfort Bay for these bits. I robbed a steel yard for well, steel. Jaser blasted a couple of factories that had the electronics I needed. My Bots also raided a Church’s chicken, but that was more for us, not the funeral.
Jaser was no genius so it was up to me to do the technical work. It was pretty fun I have to admit. I hadn’t made a rocket in years. Jaser used his powers to do the welding. A few hours later, we had a working rocket jam packed with the best of Professor Malice’s discoveries. My own knowledge of Bots contributed the three artificial intelligences that would maintain and repair the rocket for well, forever since they were powered by Malice’s own Solar Cells.
“This is the best crazy idea you’ve ever had,” Jaser said. “Professor Malice would love it!”
“I bet he would,” I said. “Picture it, a cosmic death ark flying through space. I didn’t give it any defenses other than self-repair. Any alien that wants to take a peek and try to figure out Professor Malice’s weapons of planetary destruction are welcome to it. I just hope they find a use for it before it kills them.”
“I think the Professor would like nothing more than to have his discoveries flying around, terrorizing the universe,” Jaser said.
It was a sweet touching moment. Which should have been a dead give up because that’s when a small missile detonated right beside me. Dirt went flying and my Bots shifted into combat mode.
“I don’t know where that rocket’s going, but it’s never lifting off!
I looked up to see a freaking flying hero. Not just any hero, it was the armored hero, Upgrade. Great. I had been hoping to fight the cute hero in some sort of romantic setting but instead I was facing him with an ex-boyfriend. Just great.
posted by Shon Richards @ 1/27/2006 03:09:00 PM
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