Running Errands

So I was ticked off that I couldn't crack Walker's computer notebook. Friday I almost shot the cursed thing when I remembered I had a contact. Mad Dave gave me a website to go to and told me I would find the uber hacker there. I had nothing else to lose so I gave it a try.

Just logging into the website took over my computer. Strange pixels formed and weird sounds emitted from the speakers but I was cool. You can't be an elite hacker for hire without showing off that you can hijack a computer. Besides, if it got too annoying, I would just hunt Mad Dave down and kill him for wasting my time.

"Hello Scarlet Drake, I've heard a lot about you," an odd genderless voice said.

"Thanks, who the blazes are you?"

"My apologies, I am Hack."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"That's you cool signature name that you use to conduct business with and impress your clients?"

"Yes," the voice replied. For a genderless neutral voice, it sounded peeved.

"Hack? Not Net Warrior? Or Cyber Assassin? Or Power Lurker?"

"It's just Hack! Simple names work best when you are at the top of the game all right?"

I was unimpressed. "Fine, fine. I've got some work for you, no matter what you name is."

"What do you require?" Hack said.

"I got this computer I can't even open. It's encrypted and who knows what. I can turn it on and that's about it."

"Hmm, ship it to this address, and I'll work on it."

An address appeared on the screen. It was a comfort Bay address. "That's it? What about payment?"

"I'll work on it but you must do me an errand whether or not I succeed in cracking it."

I snorted. "Like Hell. You do the work and then we'll discuss this errand."

Silence.

"I think you might like this errand. I mean, I've read about some of your exploits and umm, some of your life on rec.villiany.gossip."

"What do you mean?"

And Hack told me what she wanted and I had to admit, it was a task to my liking.

I shipped the package off on Saturday and spent a lazy day watching pirated episodes of 'Black Books.' Then I turned around and spent Sunday doing the same thing because that show is the funniest thing I've seen in years.

Monday morning, I took my time and did my errand for Hack. First I went to a trailer park outside of town. I found the right address and had 1stMateBot scan for life signs. When we found none, all five Bots and myself unloaded with our laser rifles till one of us hit something flammable and caused the trailer to explode.

From there we took the 'Lustful Raider' over to a crappy hamburger place called 'Buns and Meat'. Yeah, classy. Actually, it had a grungy charm that I appreciated so I popped in and got some hamburgers. The waitresses inside were dressed in shorts and greasy blouses. I don't which of the waitresses owned the blue Dodge truck outside, but after I got my hamburgers I went outside and looked for the license plate Hack had given us. Then I had CookBot unload with his flamethrower on it till it exploded.

The hamburgers were great.

Finally we drove over to a Videogame World. We caused quite a commotion when me and the crew walked in. Granted, I was in full sexy pirate gear from my thigh high boots down to my skull and crossbones bikini top, so most of the customers thought I was some sort of promotion model. It was the employees who knew I was a real life super-villain.

"We don't carry much cash!" a frightened assistant manager said. I didn't pay much mind to his rank. Aren't they all managers in these kinds of places?

"Just give me a copy of every Pirate oriented game you got and a system to play them on and we'll call it even. And oh yeah, which one of you is Brett?"

A semi-decent looking employee raised his hand. He couldn't stop staring at my chest which was flattering but also explained a lot. I snapped my fingers and every Bot but HelmsBot moved in. Watching four Bots beat down a man was both horrifying and satisfying.

When they were done and HelmsBot had gathered my loot, I called the crew off. Brett was severely beaten but not in permanent damaged. Hack had been specific. I kicked him in a very tender spot to get his attention and then got on one knee to talk to the messy pulp. My voice was low so only he could hear.

"Hannah said this was for running off with that skank waitress. You got two weeks to pay her back for the money you borrowed, and to return or replace her Moby t-shirt. You understand?"

He did.

As I got back into the 'Lustful Raider' and made our getaway, I got to thinking. I might have done today's errands for free. Ex boyfriends need to be scuttled, even if they aren't yours.